It was always amazing that the minute he met someone, they weren’t just an acquaintance, they were suddenly his best friend. He had one guy he had met at a bar that had no place to stay – next thing I knew he was living with Justin.
He was one of the most generous people in the world – I always told him he was an “easy mark”. Whether it was a street person asking for a cigarette (Justin would give him the pack), or the little Mexican children when we went to Mexico. They traditionally follow the tourists around trying to sell them “chiclets”…most people would give them a dime or a quarter. Justin was giving them dollar bills…needless to say, those kids followed us for two days and Justin gave away every last dollar he had in his wallet.
Towards the end, it was interesting that at times our roles were reversed…if I were having problems – marital or otherwise – he was here at the house, consoling me and telling me that everything would be all right. He was not just my son in the end, he was my best friend….the one person that I knew I could count on to be there and take care of me regardless of the circumstances.
The other most important characteristic I think of when I think about my son is his gentleness. While I know that many “manly men” found it “unmanly”, it’s one of the things I was most proud of him for. I was told on more than one occasion that he was “over-mothered”, but I didn’t care. He could never hurt a living thing. There’s a story of Justin when he was about 12 years old when he was at his grandmas and the cat and severely injured a bird. Mom told him the bird was suffering and he needed to put it out of its misery. She gave him a cinderblock and told him just to drop it on the bird so it would not have to suffer anymore. She watched from her window as he held the cinderblock up over the bird for several minutes….but in the end, he just couldn’t do it. Animals flocked to my son and he loved animals in a way few do.
Justin ended every phone call with his family by saying “I love you (Mom, Aunt Neicey, Nanaw”. My sister-in-law said, it wasn’t “love ya”….it was always “I love you Aunt Neicey”. There are few young men to whom those words came easy….Justin made sure that everyone knew exactly how he felt about them every opportunity that he had.
His humor is one of the things that his friends keep calling to mind. He was absolutely hilarious…he could take the worst moment and turn it into something funny.
He was the most generous, kind hearted man I’ve ever met and I am so proud to call him my son. He had yet to find his place in this world, but my expectations were so high. You just can’t be the kind of person he was and not be destined for success.
We have a few of his friends who had been out of his life for some time (a few years)..occasional phone calls but not as much as they would like. They are now suffering some guilt over not being more involved. You should all know that Justin NEVER HELD A GRUDGE – another quality I loved about him. You could have the worst fight and a few minutes later, it was as if it never transpired. I know that when he died there was no one that he was mad at and they should feel that peace in their hearts.
I can tell you one of the last things he said to me: We would meet every Saturday for lunch and then shopping (Justin was a “clothes horse”…can’t imagine where he got that from ;). On this last Saturday, we had lunch, went clothes shopping and then I took him grocery shopping – filled his refrigerator with steaks…only the best for him. As I was leaving he said to me: “Mom….you bring nothin’ but joy, man…nothin’ but joy…”
I will remember those words for the rest of my life.